Ways to deal with couple’s conflicting schedules?

Question

I work 8-5. I Wake up at 6am, Leave house at 7 to drop off my son at school. Leave work at 5 and I’m home just before 6. Fiancée works 12-10pm. So after I leave he goes back to sleep til 11:45 he works a mile from our house. Gets home between 10 and 11 if closes the restaurant. Comes home eats, showers, and wants to hang out and watch shows together or just hang out. By this time it’s close to midnight if not later, and I’m exhausted. I try going to sleep but he gets upset says it’s the only time we can hang out. Idk what to do but I’m exhausted and cranky all the time. He tells me to just take a nap when I get home from work. No I can’t do that. I’d love to if I had no one to tend to but I have my kids to cook for and be there for if they need help with homework or anything. Am I being ignorant ?

Answer

I think you’re misunderstanding what the word ignorant means? haha
But on a serious note, I don’t think you’re wrong. I work similar hours and couldn’t handle staying up that late either. Maybe pick a few days where you can, even if it’s just for a little bit.

Answer

You are not being ignorant. But he is crazy. You have a lot to do, doesn’t he see that? He has to start respecting how much you do and that it makes you tired! Even if he made you a stay at home mom, and financially supported you, you would still be tired from tending to kids! He needs to grow the fuck up. It’s annoying how he doesn’t see the reality and asks you to stay up with him. It’s also selfish of him!!

Answer

Can he prepare dinner earlier in the day one less thing for u to do so u can rest.

Answer

What about weekends or mornings since he doesn’t work until noon on days that you don’t work or try and make the effort after work to have some alone time. If it’s a priority you will find the time. Even for Sunday or Saturday brunch or breakfast etc.

Answer

My husband and I’s schedule is pretty much the same. I try my best to stay up an additional hour when he gets home but sometimes I’m too tired. we do make sure that we text and call each other during the day often, and days that we have off together, we cater it to spending family day. It does get boring but I rather do this with him than not see/talk to him at all. It’s all about adjustment..

Answer

I have a very similar situation. I’m a teacher so I leave the house by 7am and I’m home around 4. My SO leaves the house around 9-10 and gets home around 7ish. I’m ready for bed by 10, he’s more around 12-1am. We try to compromise and I stay up later on weekends and he’ll go to bed with me and watch tv in bed a few nights a week. The other nights we do what we want and works for us. There has to be some compromise. Talk about it and find a way to work it out. Good luck!

Ways to deal with couple’s conflicting schedules?

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