So I’ve been with my boyfriend for around a year and a half and I’m 19 and he’s 21. I absolutely love him, he is everything I wanted and more. He has a very gentle soul. However, when we first started dating he was very much a party guy, smoked, did drugs recreationally etc.

When we first started talking, right off the bat I expressed how much I hate smoking and drugs (for both personal reasons and the fact that drugs are illegal) and he stopped. I didn’t push him to stop at all, he just knew that was the one thing that was making me reluctant to be with him so he voluntarily decided to stop.

Fast forward to around a couple days ago when I was sleeping over at his apartment for the week, he decided to go out with his mates and came back absolutely plastered and high. I’ve got no problem with drinking or him going out, it’s just the fact that he was high and acting so aggressive and borderline scary and I can’t stand that at all because it reminds me off my abusive father and how he behaved towards my mum.

He was trying to get on top off me, pushing for sex and the more I refused the harder he’d try. I knew not to argue with him because he wasn’t in the right state of mind so I tried to remain calm and refuse but I lost my cool and started yelling. He pulled me off the bed and when I stood up he pushed me into the door. It ended up really hurting my back because i fell into the door knob. I got really upset so I went into the bathroom and locked the door. At first he tried opening it but quickly gave up and I’m assuming went to bed. I stayed in the bathroom the whole night and ended up falling asleep there. In the morning he began apologising and we had a talk about what happened. He admitted he was high off multiple drugs.

This is where idk what to do. He’s never ever been abusive to me or come close to it in any way whatsoever so I know this isn’t him. I know he was out of character that night and clearly influenced by drugs and alcohol but I’m honestly really shaken about what happened. I saw my dad in him that night and now I can’t get that image out of my head. He was really apologetic and even began crying when I told him about my back. He promised to never get high or that drunk again and even offered to give me space if I wanted it. So I’m really torn because I know that he would never try to hurt me if he knew what he was doing but now after that night, I can’t help but be reminded of my dad’s abusive traits.

SO what do I do??? Someone tell me because I can’t talk to any of my friends or family about this because I know that they would immediately tell me to leave him but I do really love him and I can’t see myself leaving him, but I also can’t see myself forgetting about this night and how I felt. Do I just need to get over it?? He promised it would never happen again and was genuinely hurt and sorry for me so should I trust him and leave it at that? Am I straight up overreacting about this or blinded by love and acting stupid?

TLDR: bf who is usually kind and caring was acting abusive while drunk and high. Dunno how to get over it.