How would you feel?

If you constantly threw yourself at your husband but he always waves you off. On top of that how would you feel if he masturbates and drools Instagram fitness models instead of spending that time with you?

I literally have to BEG my husband for any intimacy. He will lay next to me and rub my thighs & all, but when I go for it, he says he’s not in the mood. We have sex maybe once or twice a month. Any everytime we have sex, it’s because he initiated it. But when I try to go for it, I get turned down . I told him that I felt like he was disgusted with me and it hurt his feelings. I’m extremely sexually frustrated because I feel like my needs are overlooked.

Also, I’d like to add: this morning , he was laying on the couch next to me and he said out of nowhere “I’m about to go jack off”. And I looked at him and said “what?” Then he said “did I say that out loud?” I don’t know if he was joking or what he meant by that. But it didn’t help the situation