What would you do? Cancer diagnosis question

Question

My sister is 40 and currently battling stage 4 Pancreatic cancer. Before her diagnosis she tried everything to have her second child and couldn't get pregnant. Now she has terminal cancer and makes comments to me about how much she wants to see me have a baby before her time comes. My mom does as well.
My husband and I are newly married, both have stable jobs and our own house. We make good money together but don't have much saved. We have chosen to wait until WE are ready to start trying. 
But I'm curious, what would you do if your family put you in this situation or was pressuring you this way? Would you do it or follow the plan you and your partner are comfortable with and have agreed on? Do you think it is selfish of my sister to ask me to have a baby early just for her?

Answer

Prayers for your sister and family. My passed away from pancreatic cancer in 2014. Diagnosed in January passed in August, it was horrible to watch. 
I am sorry they are putting that pressure on you, it really is not fair. It is your family, your future, your choice. I know it is not exactly the same, but we moved our wedding so she would be there. While I was happy she was able to see me get married, my wedding had sadness surrounding it. It was a lot of people also saying goodbye to her for the last time.  So decide what you want to do. A baby can help people feel happy, but a baby can't be a bandaid.

Answer

I’m very sorry about your sister. My father passed away from pancreatic cancer ten years ago. It’s an awful disease. Prayers for your sis and family. 
As for TTC, it’s your life and will be your child. I personally would follow the plan you and your husband have set out for you lives. But ultimately only the two of you can decide that.

Answer

Yes, it is incredibly selfish for your sister to try to control your family planning. However, you will come across as the jerk if you call her out on it.
When you choose to have a baby is no one's business except for you and your partner.
Because of the delicate family situation, try your best to understand that the comments come from a place of love, and affirmation that your family thinks you will be incredible parents when the time is right. Try to just smile and let the comments go, and keep on doing what is best for you and your husband.

Answer

Having a baby to make someone else happy is a recipe for disaster.

Answer

I’m so sorry for what you and your family are going through. Since her cancer is stage 4, how likely is it that she would even be around for the birth of your child even if you were to get pregnant right away? I’d stick to the timeline you and your husband are comfortable with.

Answer

So sorry about your sisters diagnosis. Follow your heart. If you absolutely are not ready to have a child yet then let her know so she doesn’t get her hopes up. Surely she will understand.  That’s a lot of pressure on you and your husband.

What would you do? Cancer diagnosis question

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