I dated a boy for 11 months. He was my first love. We had a really strong connection but I liked someone else. I broke up with him a couple days before our anniversary. I still loved him a lot but I didn’t think it was fair to be with him when I had feelings for someone else. I never told him I had feelings for someone else but when I broke up with him he asked me if it had anything to do with the other guy, I’m assuming someone told him. I’ve been dating this other guy for almost 5 months now but we’ve been seeing each other for 7. You would think I would be almost over my ex by now and I think I am but the guilt I have over the whole situation is killing me inside. I can feel my depression growing and my anxiety that I never had is getting really bad. I constantly have dreams about my ex and it’s effecting my sleep. I don’t know what to do. It doesn’t help that I work with my ex and constantly see him out with my new boyfriend (we live in a small city). My anxiety has gotten so bad that I have to go to work an hour before my shifts to calm down before I work a shift with him.

My ex and I said we would stay friends but truth is we haven’t talked since we broke up. I think about how if my current boyfriend did to me what I did to him and I know I would be devastated. I can’t believe I actually did that to someone that I loved. I think about seeing my ex and apologizing but I really don’t know if that would help or make the situation worse. I also don’t know if my current boyfriend would be okay with it. I would probably feel a little uncomfortable if he told me he wanted to see his ex. Someone please give me advice, I’m so lost and I know what I did was terrible and deserve to feel guilty but I just can’t do it anymore