I hate being a mom sometimes.

Sometimes I imagine my life & what it would be like if I didn’t have my kids. I have 2 of them & I stay at home & it’s mentally exhausting. We only have 1 car & my husband takes it to work so I don’t get out at all.

I have no friends. Literally not a single one. I pretty much only interact with my husband and kids and some of my family like my mom and dad if they invite us over for dinner or something. I’m depressed. My anxiety is crippling.

I love my kids so much, but sometimes I just imagine what i could be doing. Like sleeping. & maybe going to college. Working at a job. Having friends & experiencing life. But I sit in my house with my kids & try so hard to just have patience & every day is just attempting to get through the day without screaming. I’ve been doing good. I really hate when I do lose my patience and I feel terrible.

I just... never thought this would be so hard. I’m tired. I miss my old life. I miss friends, I miss working, I miss freedom, I miss doing what I want to do when I want. But this is my life. I’m trying to appreciate it more because I am really lucky to have my kids they are really great. Thanks for reading.