I have no sexual history, my fiancé was my first kiss and everything else. Tonight he told me more about his sexual history and I’m glad he did but I’m having a hard time processing it. (We are Christians and his sexual history is from before he became one.) Now I feel like everything we have done is cheap knowing that he did some of the same things with another girl. I feel physically sick and heartbroken because he led me to believe that a lot of my firsts were his firsts too. Even though the stuff with from his past happened a long time ago I just feel hurt and dirty. Our intimate moments don’t feel special anymore because I just wonder if he touched her the same way or said the same things. I just want to talk to someone about this but it’s the middle of the night and I don’t know if anyone will understand how I’m feeling.