For the past 2 years, you kept a stolen piece of my heart that I believed I would never get back.

Then

Then you hurt me. Time and time again you hurt me. But I was in love and you were hurting, so I forgave you and kept you close. I was in love and I felt I would die without you while I was dying with you. I was confused why our friends said I should break up with you, that you were unhealthy for me. Surely they just didn't understand how much we needed each other? Surely they couldn't really mean that we would just end in pain?

But when I met you for the first time, like a flash of a premonition, I saw that we would be together, and that it would all end in hurt, but foolishly I disregarded my own gut feeling and gave you my heart.

When I finally broke up with you, it felt like I was tearing myself in two. I hated myself for hurting you such, but I knew that if I didn't, things would just get worse. And I didn't want to know where that would lead me.

Then

Then I started to heal. I was helped by my now boyfriend and he patiently started to piece my heart back together. However, the last piece of the puzzle remained with you. You guarded it jealously, reminding me that I could never truly love him while you still held on to that last piece.

But then

Then you made your final mistake. I came to you, to you instead of him, when I was hurt beyond anything I'd been hurt by before. You took that hurt and you multiplied it tenfold. I told you that one of my closest friends had assaulted me and you, one of the people who I thought I could trust with anything and everything in my life, proceeded to rip out the last of my trust. You held me down and told me that since I wasn't pushing you off it meant I wanted it while in my head was just turmoil.

Then

Then you made me think I was a cheater and you tried to tear me apart like that, all while he was the one patiently picking up the pieces, ignorant of what you had done because your last act of . Finally, in a moment of drunken clarity, I called you out. I understood you for who you were: the first love of my life but not the last. I could live without you and I saw your "love" of the last 2 years for the mental and emotional manipulation and torture it was.

Since then

I've taken back the piece that used to belong to you. All the other shards are falling back into place bit by bit, but at least you can no longer dangle that above me while I dance for your amusement. You can't hold me back from my own happiness that doesn't include you. And I fully intend to reach for that happiness and leave you behind.

I hope you find your happiness. It's just not going to be with me.