Seb

Ollie successfully avoided me for 5 days, but mainly as I let him I was more than a little embarrassed after all I'd put myself right out on the line gave him a low job while he pictured my sister and then he threw me out. Not great for my first ' real'sexual encounter. So I was content to allow the both of us a little space but this distance was noticed by my parents and especially Ella. I told my parents we'd had a disagreement after a few drinks which they placidly accepted but Ella didn't she peppered me with questions and damn she was annoying when she was motivated and she seemed to like ollie around. That thought made me grind my teeth. After a few days I did start to worry and sent a few texts, ollie text back but it was all noncommittal responses. Ollie missed two days of school and I decided I needed to find him as he just responded that he wasn't feeling great. So I went round to his house and hammered on the door, no answer so I text ollie and told him I wasn't moving and I sat my ass down on the step. It only took a few minutes before Ollie clearly realised I wasn't going to move and the door opened a crack.

"what are you doing here seb?"

"what are you fucking talking about ollie we're best friends." I said

"look I just don't feel great I just need some time out." he tried to close the door I grabbed it and pushed it open.

"fuck ollie what happened?"

"nothing." he said but stepped back letting me into the house. That made me happy awkward it might be but he was avoiding me because of the spectacular black eye he had not because he hated me, that was something.

"bollocks you look like a racoon."he smiled," your dad? " he nodded staring at the carpet I swore loudly," Why? "

Ollie sighed

" he um... Was outside my door... When you um... He... I spotted him I thought I did just after and I... That's why I threw you out. I wasn't 100% but I was worried if he had seen something that he'd."

"fuck ollie I'm sorry." he nodded "come on" we walked into the living room and sat down. "do you need a doctor, did he hurt you anymore."

"ill live." he said gently, "he was just drunk and shocked." I locked my eyes on his,

"I'm sorry." he broke the eye contact and examined his knees.

"it wasn't your fault we were both pissed and.." I cut him off,

"look I know we were drunk but I was being honest I... Damn this is harder sober." I said rubbing my forehead. "I'm gay."

"and I'm not." ollie said gently "I know what we did and I know I shouldn't have if I'm not gay, and I dont know why that... Happened but I like even though they hate me. I mean Ella.. She... I was..."

"I know." I said softly ollie frowned at me, "you shouted out her name right before you came." ollie bit his lip, "look ollie it's OK to be confused but you are not 100% straight. You may have been picturing my sister but you looked into my eyes when you came. You knew full well who was sucking on your cock."

"look seb you can't tell anyone about this." I smiled,

"of course it's nobody else's business and your confused and struggling I'm not I'm dealing but I've been where you are I know the struggle I... I'm not going to out you that's your choice. Just bd honest with yourself mate."

"I am I'm not lying."

"maybe."

"can can we still be friends?" I wanted to wrap my arms around him he looked like a lost child. I just got up.

"come on."

"what?"

"we still haven't finished uncharted." he smiled and got up following me.

"guess it makes sense now why you preferred uncharted over tomb raider." I couldn't help laughing. I don't know if it made it better or worse that after what had happened we seemed perfectly capable of honestly completely behaving as if it hadn't. "look." ollie said hesitantly, "I don't want to sound arrogant or anything but um... You said that.. You um..." I smiled.

"had a crush on you." he blushed averting his gaze.

"yeah."

"ollie your adorable but I will get over it. And don't worry I won't jump on you again." I held up my hands in mock surrender, "hands off I promise. Look I was drunk and horny and your you and I didn't expect to get anything other than a punch on the nose, when you kissed me well I go a little pushy that wasn't fair."

"seb it was I was just drunk I don't know was fucking going on in my head."

"look ollie it's fine we're both sorry it was stupid and didn't mean anything to you. We'll forget it. Never mention it again OK I promise." and didn't that just make my soul die a little. Despite even me calling it a crush I knew I was lying about one thing and that was the fact that I knew I was in love with him. Though I wasn't going to tell anyone that it was the main reason I wasn't coming out I was ready to tell my family they would be fine, but I didn't want them to know I didn't want ollie to know. Ella would have tried to set me up with a million guys and would have figured it out. It wasn't anyones fault it was just I had fallen hard for the wrong guy. In honesty I had thought he was straight I still didn't know for sure but he had kissed Me not just let Me kiss him. He'd gripped my hair and looked in my eyes as he came. That didn't seem like a 100%straight guy. I guess I'd just have to wait it out for as long as he took to decide what he wanted.

"thank you." ollie whispered, and he smiled my heart ached for him.

Thanks for reading any comments really appreciated ❤️❤️❤️