He cheats and is trying to make me look bad??

Question

I was with my bf almost a month before finding out I'm pregnant, as time crept on I found out he was cheating with his ex and she was pregnant too.  Can you imagine, you have been driving this guy around where he needed to go, buying him food and shit he wanted, in fact he lives with you and doesn't clean a damn thing, he doesn't work and when he finally got a job he only worked for 3 days and made up all sorts of lies and excuses not to go.  When he got mad at you he would go to her and get high, he tried to play man of the house but really was worse than a pet.  You simply were in love, didn't know how bad it was til the last day he missed work, broke your heart to see him high and confess everything he had done just to find out his ex is pregnant 2 days later when he says I need to tell you something.  I can still remember how my heart just fell and I wanted to die that day.  Pregnant with this bastards kid and he shows no remorse??  Your feelings are confused after you break up with him and you don't know what to do cause kicking him out makes him homeless.  Why do I care?  He's currently on probabtion and decides to miss drug court so now he's officially on the run, your 12 weeks pregnant now.  He's left town and tries to sweet talk you with sex and wants money but you don't budge, small talk continues until your 20 weeks he's still on the run and now he's claiming your telling people your pregnant with someone's else's baby????  You put up with his shit for 16 weeks now and he really wants to believe you cheated.  What do you do or even say?  Doesn't it make u want to hit him with a bat because of how stupid he is and crazy that sounds?  I told him to forget I exist but for self respect and because I hate this man that much I'm pursuing child support and that's it.  Part of wishes I had caught on to him sooner but I wanted to believe he couldn't go that low.  He was so sweet and attractive, he helped me around the house more than any man did and now I only wish I had cheated.  Thanks for reading

Answer

Straight up wouldnt even go for child support because that automatically gives him rights to your child. Second he doesn’t hold a job down so all it’s gonna do is make it harder for you to get any assistance if you need it . Thirdly do even put him on the birth certificate bc again rights. If you truly having nothing to do with him write a letter to your child for when they are older telling about him good and bad ect and put it back later for your child so they know who their dad is and so they can make the decision later on down the road if they want to know who he is. Unless he cleans up his act (which is unlikely) there is no reason to have this man around or give the slightest chance of rights to his kid 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

This is a tough situation to me. You were only together a month, so you guys didn’t even know each other when you got pregnant. To get pregnant THAT early on is incredibly hard for a relationship, especially when one of the parents isn’t ready. From your description, he sounds like an immature guy that needs to learn how to use a condom. I disagree with the below posters though. I don’t think him cheating and being immature is a reason for him to not have rights to his child, and I don’t think down the road your child would be okay with you keeping them from him because of immature issues in your relationship. If he abused you or there were something more serious, that would be a different story. Although it’s going to be tough, you need to come to terms with being a single mom and probably not having much help from him. You don’t need him.

Answer

I won’t even have him around me if he had a baby with his ex

He cheats and is trying to make me look bad??

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