Possible Miscarriage

Went to the doctor today for what was suppose to be a first ultrasound appointment at 9w5d. She said the sac was showing a very early pregnancy more like 4-5 weeks but that she is pretty certain this is a miscarriage. I have to return on Thursday for another blood test and she’ll call on Friday to let us know if my HCG lowered or increased but she said she is pretty sure it is a miscarriage...

I’m numb. I don’t want to cry because I’m just not that type of person but I feel like I’m a failure. I had quite a few drinks right before we found out we were pregnant around 4-5 weeks so I’m feeling guilty thinking this is all my fault and that I caused this... I wouldn’t have drank if I had any idea that we could’ve been pregnant and we’ve told no one at all about this possible pregnancy. Just feeling alone I guess and super guilty and like a major failure...