I can't handle going to church.

I need some advice.

I have unbelievable anxiety and cannot pray in public. And I don't know what to do in Relief Society or Sunday School if I'm ever asked to say the prayer. I don't want to say no because that's somehow "rude," and I'm sure people will assume it's because of disciplinary action and judge me. But I really cannot handle it if I say yes.

My therapist has also told me it's likely I have PTSD. I need to always know my surroundings, so I have to sit in the back corner. If I walk into a room and the back row is full, my husband lets me leave, and we usually end up sitting in the foyer and missing all the classes.

My therapist told me to talk to the disability office at school (BYUI), and they told all my teachers not to call on me to pray and to keep the back seat open for me. But I can't really do that at church.

If my husband works, I don't go at all because I just can't handle it.

I need advice. Or encouragement. Anything you guys have. Please?