Regret my choices


Ok so I had an abortion when I was 20 years old ,I regret it everyday and hate myself for it. I am now in my late 20's and want to have a baby and I am more prepared financially than before. I tried with an ex & nothing . I feel like my stupid decision may haunt me forever and my punishment will be I won't have kids. I want to try again but I don't even have male friends or know anyone closely to try to ask. I'm not sure what to do , part of me doesn't even want a relationship seeing how most guys act these days smh. I can't afford invitro not to work the first few times around. Anyone with a similar past situation,please message me .