I’m so freaking stupid.

I’ll start by saying I love my boyfriend so much, but when we fight it’s like God and Satan in a boxing match.

He was tired after work, frustrated and just wanted to go to bed. I wanted to talk to him a little longer because it was nice to hear his voice.

I should’ve let him go to bed, because we fought harder and harder until I told him I’d figure out life on my own because it felt like he was holding everything over my head and trying to blame me for not working harder to find a job (last job wasn’t providing stable hours even though it claimed to be full time.)

“So I’m going to take back the engagement ring I bought you?!”

God I’m such a fucking idiot.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and he was going to take me to dinner and propose to me then.

I went quiet because I’ve never felt that kind of heartbreak. I immediately apologized for my behavior and got off the phone and was in tears as I hung up, blubbering and being upset.

I’m still upset and beating myself up over it. I ruined a perfectly good plan by picking a fight with him when he as exhausted all because I was selfish and wanted to be on the phone with him. I don’t think he’s going to try to anymore, not anytime soon anyway.

I’m so stupid.