Okay so this is gonna be long as hell but if you like to spill tea I think you'll enjoy this post lol.

So I met this guy in one of my classes and we started hanging out. He had originally asked me to hang out because he was into me but I had a boyfriend so we just remained friends. We both talked about girls (I'm bi lol) everything was very "bro-y" between us. That fall we hung out every week, I'd come over after our class together and we'd hang or he'd take me to his friends place and we'd all just chill. We got pretty close, I spent the night a couple times on his couch (some other friends were always staying the night too).

He dropped out of the school we went to together after that semester and went to a different one in the same city. He got a girlfriend at one point but it only lasted a month or so. We were a lot more distant that winter. Even though I was still in my relationship, I knew I was falling for him. I think maybe he knew this too and that's why we stayed so distant for awhile. In April I asked if we could talk and he drove me out to this dock that he went to all the time as a kid, brought wine and cigarettes, and for a long time we just talked about the stars and life. Then I started to tell him that I've never felt this way about anyone, the way I feel about him. He said he wasn't worth ruining a relationship. We left it there.

Summer came around, I ended my relationship. He was one of my people I told about my failed relationship, I kept it secret from a lot of people because I felt like a failure. I got three jobs to try to pay for my apartment and school and everything. We still didn't see each other that much, though we did get to hang a little more. He got a house, which is so much nicer then his little apartment. I spent summer very drunk and sad, I told him a lot of stuff that I usually wouldn't have told people, but he's never held any of these things against me.

Cut to recently, once again we're hanging out nearly every week. We hook up now, which is different. Not every time we hang out, but sometimes it's hard to keep our hands off of each other. He invites me over to paint, we're both artists, and have some wine. He invites me to pull all nighters with him while he studies, the other night I went over to paint and he asked if I wanted to design some t shirts with him. And maybe help decorate his house, he's filling a room with art and wants my opinions. I even gave him one of my pieces to hang.

Y'all, I'm so ridiculously in love with him. Like, I really haven't been this head over heels for someone. I want to tell him how I feel but I also can't tell if he also feels similarly towards me. He talks about his ex sometimes, they had a very good relationship but I'm nothing like her. I'm the eccentric artist stereotype while she's somewhere becoming a doctor. He says he wants a girl he can talk about his science stuff with, this makes me nervous because though I love science, I'm not an expert or anything.

Like a lot of the stuff sounds flirty but he's also just a very nice person so what if he's just being nice? I don't want to ruin what we have, but also I feel like I don't want to just keep fucking and sort of showing feelings but not really. Do I tell him?