First pregnancy ; First loss.

MiMi β€’ Twin mom to two babies in heaven πŸ‘ΌπŸ»πŸ‘ΌπŸ»

I found out the day before Halloween I was pregnant with possible twins. 5weeks 5days . I was carrying two sacs with one actual baby, with a very visible, strong heart beat. I didn't get in to see an OB until I was 8 weeks (Thursday) and the appointment was just a million & one questions. I asked if anyone else was concerned about the possible "Baby B" , (Twins run in my family, and each set has been a loss) and the nurse went ahead and ordered an ultrasound . I went to my ultrasound yesterday (Friday), and they weren't aloud to tell me anything during it , I still asked questions anyways, I could just feel by the silence of the room something wasn't right, and when the tech went to listen to the heart beat and I watched the lines go across the screen and heard nothing . I stopped looking at the screen at that point and just stared at the ceiling until it was over .

My OB ordered that I didn't get my results from the hospital & that I had to wait until my next OB appointment December 3rd , which obviously changed considering what was happening . A midwife cornered me in delivery room to tell me that my baby stopped growing at around six weeks & what I already knew.. that my baby didn't have a heart beat .

Throughout the couple weeks that I knew I was pregnant , I only had nausea for three maybe four days, and mild stomach cramps the entire time. (Which I still have now.) I haven't started bleeding, I don't feel any different , I haven't even began any visible signs of a miscarriage. I don't understand what is happening .. and I don't know where to go from here .

Im too upset and, this may sound stupid , but too embarrassed to talk to anyone close to me about it . I've been practically ignoring everyone because I'm not ready to talk , and not sure if I will be anytime soon... My grandma texted me and said "Lots of people lose their babies, you can try again." And it REALLY hurt... I don't know if that was her way of trying to be comforting .. or what.. but I feel as if it was wrong of her .. I feel like maybe there's a possibility that the hospital made a mistake... Or atleast that's what I'm hoping.. but at the same time , I feel like I'm playing a waiting game of actually "passing" the baby? Nobody explained to me what happens next, or what to prepare for.. I'm just a nut case filled with sadness and anger at this point.