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I feel so horrible and worthless 🥺 I never thought I would be in this position , I’m going to a year next month of TTC, first couple of months it was alright but now i feel like it’s taking a toll on me. I have a very negative mindset 🤦🏻‍♀️ and the holidays are around the corner 😓 thanksgiving I’m not going home to visit family , and Christmas taking off to Disney and Vegas with my husband , I land back home on NYE and I have anxiety over visiting with family 😓 I never thought I would feel this ugly. I’ve been a very positive person all my life. Now I’m on depression meds , full blown anxiety , and lack of sleep . I do not wish this on anyone. All i want is to form a family , my parents r super old school and have made rude remarks saying that I need to hurry up and fix myself because if I don’t husband might leave me 🥺 fix myself ? I went through a laparoscopic surgery for no reason , I was getting myself sick everyday thinking I had endometriosis, my gyno finally listened to me and did exploratory surgery and NO endometriosis, I ovulate like clock work , I have regular periods , it’s just not happening 🥺 I feel so lost , what a fkn nightmare this has been. This is a very negative post , I feel like negative Nancy. Some days are not like this , I’m all smiles pretending my world isn’t falling apart on the inside but tonight is one of those nights where my period arrived and reminded me that I’m not pregnant again

On another note, this girl i know was with this guy for over two years TTC and they never conceived , he ended up cheating and leaving her. Well long story short she started dating a guy right away and didn’t take care of herself and she’s pregnant! All this has me thinking that maybe me and my husband aren’t compatible 🤦🏻‍♀️ I know sounds fkn crazy but my sister suggested the same thing, my gyno wants to jump and do

if my husband clears, we get his results in a few days , I’m wondering why i didn’t get on clomid or another medicine , all I got told is everything is perfect with you , if your husband clears we can do

, just thinking about the money for

keeps me up at night 🤦🏻‍♀️

End of rant! Baby dust to everyone dying on the inside like i am , our turn will get here and when it does it will be beautiful

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