I did something bad. I don’t need anymore judgment as i have criticised myself over this. 3 months ago I got in contact with my friends oldest brother(he’s a womaniser, doesn’t like to be referred as one). I knew he was in a relationship of the time, he messaged me and our conversation was pg, except he can be quite vulgar. He used to wind me up about liking him when I was younger, right In front of my friend. He started to send me X’s, i told him to stop because it was inappropriate and he had a girlfriend. He then popped up to me a week later saying him and the woman broke up. He asked me to come and see him. I should have said no to his invitation but anyway i agreed to see him. First mistake I made. I thought nothing of it would happen but Later on I did something even worse. I slept with her oldest brother a couple of times, i then find out he was still going out with his girlfriend and he lied about being single . My friend had my phone and she opened his message and found him sending Xs.She said she was annoyed that she had to find out herself. She rang him up and told him what he was doing was wrong and not right. My friend asked me later on why he was sending X’s. He told me to tell her that I sent them. She expressed that she wasn’t happy about that and is forgiving me this time. She also expressed that he had ruined two of her sister friends relationships previously and asked me to stay away as she couldn’t forgive me if anything else happened, she said she doesn’t like how he treats women... I agreed and said I would stay away. That night I cried to my sister expressing how i felt awful and I didn’t wanna throw 9 years of friendship out the door. I love my friend so much. She’s like a sister to me(I don’t see her often). I don’t wanna lose her and I am silly for fucking her brother and Later on that day I messaged him to end things. He didn’t like that I was trying to end it. He Broke up with his giRlfriend a week later and then expressed that he has fancied me for years and that he was going to tell my friend tonight about his feelings towards me. He said that she didn’t say much after he had confessed to liking me. (Her brother is quite good at bullshitting so he could have lied). She hasn’t messaged me. So i know she doesn’t agree to it. I don’t need to be told how shit I am, I know and my sister express how deep I am in this and that im fucked. Haven’t spoke to her brother. He Got in relationship wee while ago. Haven’t told my friend due to her brother asking me not to. I can’t carry the guilt forever and I don’t want to loose her. As she is my main friend. I just wanted to confess on this. I just wanted to message on here to get it off my chest. I don’t want no negative energy. I already feel bad. I feel even worse when I realised that I do actually fancy her brother😭 and enjoyed seeing him and enjoyed his company that why I went near him. I just wanted some company. I know that sounds bad. But I’m being honest.

Current update- I have messaged my friend. I realised holding guilt wasn’t fair and keeping this from her wasn’t right.

She responded not how I expected, just asked me if it was over and if he was messaging me and not to worry about it anymore. I was honest told her the truth.

Feel so much better.

Thank you for responses, I wasn’t expecting any as I just wanted this off my chest.