A new pregnancy low *TMI* but funny!

So there I was, peacefully grocery shopping, feeling like crap. I’m 14 weeks pregnant and always feel like crap so I didn’t think much of it. I have half a cart full of groceries with only a few things left to get and my nausea starts getting worse. At this point I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sick. I start booking it to the restroom. I’m now in the middle of the busiest section of the store and I start projectile vomiting! Like Exorcist vomiting. But it gets worse...

I have a massively full bladder and with every large hurl, violet streams of pee start shooting out. And no, not a gentle, consistent flow. A powerful, forceful stream of piss shooting out at an angle behind me because I’m bent over. Puke, squirt, puke, squirt...I thought It’d never end!

By the time it was all over, I had a crowd of people staring at me. They probably thought I was turning into a zombie. There was vomit and piss all over their floor. And there I was in all my glory and extremely embarrassed. I offered to clean it up but the staff wouldn’t let me. Instead they politely brought me to the front, checked my groceries out, and off I waddled in my pee-soaked pants.