i have been having a really really hard time lately. so much has been going on and i can’t handle it anymore. my cousin committed suicide 8 days before my birthday, my ex and i broke up and i’m still in love with him, college apps are due, school, i work 2 jobs and etc and i have to juggle all of these and still try to be energetic and happy so my friends will think i’m okay and nothing is going wrong. i really miss my ex boyfriend and i really need him rn but i know i can’t go to him. my 18th birthday is tomorrow and i feel like not a lot of people care. it seems like every year since i first attempted, it’s just getting worse and worse. but i’m scared that i will attempt and things will get better and i’m scared to leave the people i know who care about me. i’ve been getting help and i’m on meds and stuff like that but it’s not working anymore. my parents won’t let me go to an institute again so i can’t get more help. i’m so stuck. i don’t know what to do. will i ever get better? what’s the point if my life keeps getting worse? but i’m scared that it will get better before it’s too late.