its not your fault. you didnt choose to get PCOS, you didnt choose to be unable to lose weight because of it, and your actions havent cause any of the bad thats happened. and this is just the beginning.

go to the doctor more often. health care is free here, take advantage of it. get that mole looked at, ask about treatments for the weight to see if it helps.

dont feel guilty for your body hating you. your fiance gets it, he knows you are sick, he knows you will always have bad days with it. he accepts it and loves you all the same and he shows it every damn day.

keep doin what you are doin at the gym. you may have some pudgy spots here and there but underneath the muscle tone is real. your legs are so beautiful and strong. keep swimming, the water is like home so dont give up your love of swimming just because no progress is being made.

keep creating. i know you have some big pieces you need to work on for that costume and if you keep ignoring them they will never get done so keep at it. you make costumes for fun! thats awesome! you will be so proud when this costume comes together, you will have so much fun in the costume contest at the next convention.

dont sweat the small stuff. dont spend so much time worrying or you will get more wrinkles. keep your head high, focus on the road ahead, keep reading your tarot cards girl, they hold the key.

keep trying. never give up. your friends, family, and your fiance love you and they want to see you do well, they cant wait to hear what your next big plan is.

keep baby dancing, someday you will get your sweet little angel who will be the most adored little baby in the world, not just by their parents, but by extended family, friends of the family and spoiled by all.

i hope you listened me, cause right now you need to hear these things.