My story is pretty complicated & long. I’ve posted many different posts the past week or so.

I found out I was pregnant on the 17th October. I was 9dpo.

Fast forward to a week before I was supposed to have my first ultrasound.

My husband and I had intercourse and about 15 minutes later I was spotting.

I freaked out, called out of work and went straight to the ER. They did so many tests that day and we were so scared.

The results came back. We had two babies in there. One was 6w5d and the other 6w3d. My levels were 9300+. Neither had heartbeats. We were devastated.

The next day I felt like something was off with the results, maybe I was just unsatisfied of the results, but either way I booked an appointment with my OB that same day.

It felt like forever waiting in that waiting room. Finally she came in and did an ultrasound. It felt super rushed, but either way she showed us the screen (which the ER doesn’t do) and pointed at the bean. She said look, it has a flicker of a heart beat! She said there wasn’t another baby and this one measured 6w exactly. What the hell?! How could the ER be so wrong?!

She did tell us that my body is preparing for a miscarriage though and with my dates the baby could be measuring way too small. We left unhappy and upset again, convinced we were loosing our baby.

About 6 days goes past and I’ve been bleeding everyday. Not enough to fill a pad but it was paired with crazy cramping and uncomfortable pelvis.

I am done with this feeling of not knowing wtf is going on, so I went to the ER again. A different one this time.

Same deal again. Told them the whole story.

The results came back. 6 days later I had a bean still posted up inside. Heartbeat was at 67bpm and measuring 6w3d. My levels went up, but only to 9500+. Also, turns out my bleeding and cramping was from a hematoma instead of a miscarriage.

We left with the tiniest of hope. This time we were told it defo had a heart beat and although the facts are stacked against us, we still had that ounce of hope.

We know that things aren’t looking good, but for some reason our bean is still trying so hard to be with us.

Tomorrow we have our last ultrasound to determine what’s going to happen. If the baby hasn’t progressed then we may have to say goodbye. But maybe, just maybe, there is still a bean with a strong heart beat... we can only pray and hope.