Seb

I took a last drag from my cigarette and stubbed it out I knew better than yo try and smoke inside the house my mother was like a drug dog for tobacco. I walked back into the house and everything was silent. Me and ollie both worked in the same restaurant so I knew he was at work in an hour, so I figured he was probably gone as I walked up the stairs though I saw Ella's door slightly agar and I couldn't stop my feet moving to her doorway. I froze Ella was curled up in bed fast asleep with ollies arms wrapped around her. Despite being under a duvet it was clear she was naked, I assumed ollie was too. It was just very fucking obvious the two of them had just had sex. I couldn't help feeling conflicted I felt a deep yearning but at the same time the two of them looked so peaceful and in love. Ella had a small smile on her face her head nestled into his chest. She wriggled slightly and ollie kissed the top of her head. Damn he was awake as if hearing my thoughts ollie looked up an his eyes locked on mine.

"sorry." I muttered turning and striding down the hall.

"hey." ollie called as he appeared in the hall closing the door behind him softly.he jogged down towards me He was wearing just his jeans and carried a shirt. I stopped and turned to him he stopped and he pulled the t. Shirt over his head.

"so I guess you guys didn't break up."

"I told you I wouldn't do that." he said calmly.

"no but I didn't think you'd fuck her either."

"that's none of your business."

"of course not you two have fun."

"look do you want me and you to go do something tomorrow?"

"are you asking me out on a date?"

"shut up you prick. Look four weeks and we're off to uni together I don't want to do that with you pissed at me."

"well unfortunately I think that's how it's going to be mate. But I'll get over it. Anyway I'm working tomorrow so you two have fun."

"look you know I love her."

"I know but that doesn't mean you won't hurt her."

"I won't." I took a step towards ollie just a small step but enough to get into his pers space.

"you won't?" I said my eyes locked on his ollie looked honestly scared he didn't even blink. I dived across the small space between us and crushed my lips against his. Ollie froze but after a few seconds he suddenly responded kissing me back intensely. I grabbed his arms and pushed him back into the wall knocking the breath out of him. Ollie paused for a second before returning to kiss me his hands plunging into my hair twisting it hard as my hands slid down to his hips pressing my body up hard against him feeling his rising erection pressing into my hip. I tore my lips away from his and held my face close to his. Ollie looked at me his eyes wide he was breathing heavily. I held his face in my hands keeping our eyes locked. I significantly rubbed his erection with my leg just once he groaned.

"that didn't take much did it ollie." I let him go and turned striding away.

"hey." ollie shouted catching me up and grabbing my shoulder. I pointed significantly at Ella's room. " fine" he said glowering striding past me into my room I followed him and closed the door gently.

"what the fuck was that?" ollie snarled,

"proving a point."

"bollocks" I shrugged, "my own amusement."

"closer."

"I'm not a complete ass ollie Ella's my twin she is the most important person in my life. I wouldn't choose to hurt her for the world but if you choose this path your on your going to hurt her."

"what the fuck seb what happened between us was a long time ago and I... I love Ella so much so why is it so wrong to you I won't hurt her."

"you just cheated on her."

"you kissed me."

"you could have punched me, pushed me off sworn at me or just not kiss me back."

"fuck you I was... I didn't know what to do you just fucking pounced on me again!"

"big bad gay guy forcing himself on you."

"I didn't say that. Just answer me why did you get me and Ella together only to become obsessed with me hurting her and try to tear us apart?"

"i wasn't trying to get you together. I thought Ella would let you down easy or something and you might see the world beyond her. She's the only thing you've seen for the last 3 years."

"oh." he said his eyes locked on me intently.

"OK Im not going to just pounce. I'm going to kiss you." our lips met gently this time our tongues slipping into each others mouth licking tasting exploring. Something inside made this seem more intimate. Suddenly ollie snapped his lips away from mine.

"ollie." I said gently

"don't." he said quietly,

"why?"

"because I don't want to kiss you but I can't stop myself. I don't want to stop you."

"oll."

"look its not about being confused or my dad or shame or anything like that. I just don't feel it unfortunately I like girls unfortunately as they avoid me like the plague and I love Ella I always have and no girl compares to her and I have no gay guy feelings at all... Except for you. And I don't even know what this is. Im not giving up on me for an I don't know what. Just please don't kiss me. You kiss me I cheat on her but I wouldn't with any other soul on this earth. Just don't kiss me please. " I lifted my hand in a surrender type gesture.

" hands off I promise. " ollie nodded and left the room. I sat down on the bed with a groan and covered my face with my hands. I needed to get over him I really did have to let him go. Ollie had never acted like he wanted anything more than our brief fumbles but I guess being gay and desperately in love with him. Our fumbles made me think he was possibly just struggling with his sexuality and scared. That's why him and ella hurt so much because it made it do fucking clear he did not want to struggle and figure things out. He just wanted to be a closet bisexual and didn't that just add suck for me!

Thanks for reading. Any comments as always very welcome ❤️❤️❤️