So.. I have this ongoing battle with my husband and I'm probably going to sound like the worst step mother ever but I really really need advice. It's very long so sit tight! Here a bit of a back story...

Basically, I've been with my husband since my stepson was 3 months old, he's now nearly 6 and I love him so so much. From the age of 6 months to 3 years old we had him 5 days a week, his mother had him 2 days a week. Because my husband worked long hours, I'd essentially have my stepson for the majority of that time, however he was such an easy baby I really didn't mind. I then got a 45 - 60 hour a week job so said to the mum I wouldn't be able to have him as much and that we'd have him from Friday afternoon until Monday morning (basically when I wasn't at work)..

My husband has always had a fear of his son being "left out" and therefore he's always overcompensated... If Oscar (my step son) wanted something.. He'd get it. Date nights barely exist because my husband would feel like a terrible dad for finding a babysitter for Oscar and weeknight date nights were impossible due to our shifts. I never minded though, like I said Oscar is such an easy child (never tantrumed) I just enjoy having him around.

Anyway, I found out I was pregnant, I'm now 12 weeks. After my 12 week scan I said to my husband we should go out shopping, we needed a carseat that needed to specifically fit our travel system (stokke pushchair super hard to get hold of in the UK) so I wanted to get a move on and buy one before stokke changed the fittings or whatever. He was like "oh um I don't think we can afford that right now" and I was like oh OK, well we'll head to tkmaxx and just get some baby stuff. Anyway, my husband, Oscar and I all head to tkmaxx. I get in the store and suddenly they both dissappear. For the next 30 mins I end up shopping for baby stuff by myself, getting more pissed off. This was meant to be a day for shopping for our baby, where is he? He comes back with a trolley full of clothes for Oscar. I then hold up a couple of baby things and say "what do you think" he shrugs his shoulders and says "I don't mind its up to you" at that point I lost the plot.. I said how it was meant to be our day shopping for the baby and we should've left Oscar with one of our parents so we can enjoy this time together, instead of making it about going shopping for Oscar which wasn't what we planned to do. Anyway, I stormed out of the store and sat in the car, they come out 30 mins later with a bag full of clothes for Oscar, the receipt showing he spent £130. The carseat is £180 and I said we'd go halves. Again I was livid. Especially as our families had asked us what they could get Oscar for Xmas and we had said clothes as his clothes that he has won't fit him for much longer.

Last week we decided we were going to book a scan for Xmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a> to find out the gender, Oscar would be with his mum this Xmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a> and until we had booked the scan, our Christmas was looking like it was going to be pretty boring until he came to ours Xmas day at 2pm..so I thought the scan would add that extra bit of magic that my husband and I could enjoy.. Finding out the gender of our little baby and then giving an oscar a Christmas present which reveals the present on Christmas day.

Today in the car my husband said unless oscar goes to the scan on christmas <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">eve</a>, he's not going. If I'm honest, I think Oscar is too young to go in the scan, he wasn't the slightest bit interested in our scan photo and I know he'd rather spend the evening with his mum and his little sister, laying milk, mince pies and carrots out for santa and his reindeers. And tbh i was hoping this was something I could just enjoy with my husband as we revolve everything else around Oscar.

Safe to say my husband and I got into a massive argument about it. I just don't know what to do. Any advice??