So i have anxiety its not cripling but id say its medium level. I have had it my entire life. It used to he so bad it was basically ruining my entire life. Every moment consuming my thoughts. Its like being trapped in your own mind with no way out. Id live like this day in and day out. Until i was 18 and met my now husband i thought EVERYONE lived their life this way. One day he gave me one of his pills (risperdal its a mood stablizer. I only took one.) All of the sudden my world went silent and for the first time ever i couldnt worry. It was so refreshing i was amazed and it really opened my eyes to how i was living. I was basically surviving mental/emotional torture everyday. This may sound dramatic but its truly not. I will say though that dispite all of this ive NEVER been suicidal. Ive always wanted my life. At 18 i got on a generic brand of zoloft. This pill saved me. It helped me learn to control my own thoughts. I took it for a few years. Im not currently on it because i dont feel its really needed anymore. If i do need it in the futurr ill get back on it.

Anyways i just want to share that anxiety can be so wicked, a real life ruiner.

In my experience a person with axiety needs to do all tgat they can for themselves. Try to be as independent as possible. For example. I used to call on the phone to pay all kinds of bills but a lot of our bills are paid on the phone. My husband has it all hooked up to his phone and atm basically pays them all for the most part. He started to do that and it got easier to just let him. No big deal right. But as time has gone by my anxiety to call up and pay those bills on the phone has gone up. I avoid doing it.

My goal.is to start paying more of them by phone. Practicing this will make it easier.

I also am going to look for a job soon as we are moving into a house soon and some extra money would be wonderful. But also good for me as a person.

My weight has gotten just unacceptable imo. So i need to work on that and i will.

Im 28 years old now snd doing so much better. But there are as i said still chamges i need to make for us and myself to live a better life.

I just want to ask for prayers to get a job swiftly, get my weight under control and overall just receive gods blessings. We really are so blessed.

I write this to ask for prayers but to also try and give others hope. Things do get better and you can feel free.