Relationship Advice

Hey guys, I’ve never made a post like this so I’m kinda nervous, stick with me here I’m sorry in advance.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years now, living together for one and half years going to college together. This year has been crazy, we’ve moved twice, gotten a dog, all the things.

He’s always been a little harsh. Im a sensitive ass person, so it doesn’t help. I’m sure he doesn’t mean a lot of the things to come off so harshly. He now talks to me like I’m not even a person. He slams everything around the house, yelling at me for not cleaning even when I did the night beforehand. I feel like if he doesn’t see me actively cleaning he doesn’t think I did it, he just thinks I’m lazy. I have extreme chronic depression and really bad anxiety on top of PTSD, I tend to clean better when it’s night time or I can be by myself. Being yelled at doesn’t help me get motivated. It shuts me down.

It usually starts off in the morning. He gets super mad at me for the silly things. A makeup brush on the counter, for today’s example. I say sorry and I apologize, put it back, but it keeps going all day. We just got a new house and he constantly is away, he blames everything on me instead of the roommates. He says terrible things about me when we aren’t around anyone and tells them I’m just being sensitive when they see I’ve been crying. I hate looking like a fool.

It’s just been getting worse and worse. When he’s drunk he goes off on me. When we go to the store he tells me I can’t have anything but proceeds to get food and eat it in front of me. I only work 20 hours a week and the rest I have school, it’s a struggle to get food into the kitchen when I’m the only one buying groceries for 3 people.

Today I told him he needs to stop treating me like this, but he comes back at me with a guilt trip. I need help, but I’m too afraid to do anything about it. I love him. I don’t know what to do from here. I looked at apartments but I’m on a year lease with everyone, it’s not like I can walk away. Can someone tell me I’m not crazy? Any advice is welcome:(