What do I do

Question

My step son who is 11 has a hearing at school next week for recommendations for expulsion. He repeatedly googles disturbing things such as school shooters, death, how to make pipe bombs etc. he claims he is being bullied but refuses to tell the teacher. He told me "I need to handle it myself". I am so disturbed by this his mother and my fiancé has put him in counseling etc and they claim nothing is wrong with him. My fiancé refuses to punish this kid for anything he does. I can not handle this anymore and I am almost ready to leave my fiancé completely because of his lack of parenting.. what would you do in this situation?

Answer

If he is being bullied, looking up these disturbing and potentially extremely dangerous things and saying he need to handle it himself. This is a very concerning and huge cry for help and your fiancé and you should not take this lightly. Maybe a new school would be good for him. Maybe switch to a new counselor if you don’t think his current one is helping. Your step son needs help he is at a very difficult age and clearly struggling with his emotions. Please get your fiancé to realize this so you both can be a support system for him and get him the help he needs.

Answer

You can have him committed to a psychiatric hospital. Threatening life, their own or others, is grounds for it, for sure. Call the cops they will take him to the crisis center. He won’t be bullied in there and I would look into another school since that one is clearly not working out. I’m dealing with the same crap. My older brother that is 46. My mother enables him due to guilt,  he just got out this morning due to bipolar. She’s all you don’t have to take the meds if you don’t want to. All I keep thinking is wtf. No one listens to me anyway. She’s coddling him and doing whatever he wants. I’m staying away from both of them. I don’t have the patience for their bs. You  marry the man you marry the family and realize now that your opinion isn’t taken seriously. They make you out to be the bad guy. I don’t blame you for wanting out. Can’t help those that don’t want help or see that there is a problem. They can live in Denial all they want but I’m done.

Answer

“Harmful to himself or others” is which this sounds like, you can section him to go inpatient to a mental health facility and be fully evaluated. This is a serious matter, good luck to you and your family

Answer

As a step parent (or soon to be) there's not much you can do. This falls on his actual parents. Your fiance needs to step up especially as a father and discipline the kid or better yet, be there for his son and see what the issue is.

Answer

Googling those things is not normal, and hes saying hes being bullied so something is definitely bothering him. This is very serious. Adults should kot minimize the severity of the situation & say nothing is wrong with him. Nothing is “wrong” with him but something is clearly bothering him & its not right. 
Unfortunately, expulsion does not solve bullying so im not so sure what thats going to do other than make ur stepson feel like hes getting punished for being bullied. Im sure there is more to the story though. But for an 11 year old to say hes gotta handle it himself means he doesnt feel like adults are helping him enough with the bullying situation hence hes gotta rely on himself to resolve it. Thats a tough situation for a kid to be in. He should continue to stay in counseling at the very least. 
M

Answer

Be supportive of his decision and if you have a relationship with the child believe he’s being bullied and bring it to the schools attention ASAP! Too many children are killing themselves show him you’re in his corner but tell him the searches must stop otherwise he’ll end up in jail so be sure to mention the bullying

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