I’ve never dreamed about wanting a white wedding. Never. Ever since I was little, the prospect of white dress, walking down the aisle, all eyes on me, sounded horrible.

Well; my boyfriend of a year and a half (known him for over five) proposed in September. Ever since the minute I met him five years ago, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

Here’s the problem. I’m still stuck in my feelings. He wants a white wedding/party. I just want to go to the courthouse and be done with it. Planning a wedding, picking a date, size of party, all of the little decisions, and just the amount of attention on me/is alone? It sounds like/feels like/absolutely has been straight hell.

One of the reasons why he wants a wedding/be traditional, is because of just how not traditional the engagement was. Yeah, it is poor taste to get engaged at a wedding reception. We kept it down on the down low and didn’t say anything for a couple days. He also didn’t have a ring at the time, and a ring is finally arriving mid to late December. He also didn’t do the whole “ask for the father’s permission/blessing”. I thought his proposal was very sweet. I didn’t mind there wasn’t anything fancy. My family has been raising hell though. They’ve put me through the wringer for all of the above, and my older brother actually had a text/phone call with B and completely lost it on him.

So. I don’t want a wedding. No wedding. No party. No thank you. B just wants my family to get back to liking him, so yes to the party etc. what makes it harder is, my family is spread to across the country. Like, East Coast, West Coast, Midwest. Travel is expensive. We are needing to pick a date and go through with it ASAP, if we want to do something this year.

Plus money. We honestly can’t afford to do a wedding party. His parents want to put six grand towards a wedding. My family absolutely can’t help with cost of expenses. I want to be able to pay for things myself, if at all possible. I’ve been working 60+ hours for the last six months, just to try to keep a savings account going.

How on earth do we compromise on what we want?! How on earth do I graciously accept the monetary gift from his family?