As I’m sitting here the morning after the worst fight of my life. Dried tears on my face and puffy eyes I realized something. Marriage is not easy even after almost 2 years of it. It doesn’t matter how long you have known the person for or how long you’ve been together it still is not easy. I’m not saying this is how it is for everyone, but there are many others who may be able to relate to what I’m saying or need to hear what I’m saying.

My husband and I have been friends since 2013. We met through a mutual friend on 4th of July. I was a drunk mess just getting out of a relationship and just wanted to hang out with a good friend. My friend at the time had his 2 buddies with him so I decided to tag along with them for the night. Little did I know that would be the night I’d meet my soulmate. Again I was a drunk mess upon initial meeting. I continued to drink the rest of the night not remembering much, but this man still wanted to get to know me. The night ended and we went our separate ways. Flash forward to a year later and we had been talking off and on through social media. Little jabs here and there on posts nothing serious. Another year goes by and we become a title closer. Actually hanging out with each other with our friends and then eventually flirting here and there and movie dates where we sat real close and snuck hand holding when no one was looking. He had asked to date me a few times st and I denied him cause I wasn’t ready for any of that. Eventually I gave in and we went on a date with just us 2. I was sold from that day on. We had the best relationship ever! We both worked full time but we would still make time to see each other everyday. It was a dream. 2 years later we got married and had our son. Things started to go down hill while I was pregnant. My husband had a few close losses in his family, he got injured at work and laid off, we had to move in with family right before we had our son. It was a mess, stressful and honestly a nightmare. Our marriage declined. We became distant, just kind of went through the motions of life. We had our son in January and it was the best day of my life! We finally had a child that we both had longed for. But it didn’t fix us. Months go by and my husband becomes distant. At this point I’m ready to leave. So much had happened between us in the last few months that I honestly felt like there was no coming back from it all. So much had happened ( I decided to leave that out to avoid the judgement.) I found out I was pregnant again. A daughter. Our little family will finally be complete.

This is where I realized that my family, my kids, the thing we had built from the ground up isn’t worth leaving. Things can always be worked on if you are willing to put in the work. Marriage just isn’t easy. It can sometimes be a job. Just like being a mother or father.. it’s all a job. It has to be worked on and acknowledged everyday.

Not everything In life is easy. If it was easy we’d have everything we ever dreamt of. I’m not saying it’s this easy for everyone. Trust me I’ve been on both ends of the story here. I couldn’t imagine leaving all the little things that bring my kid joy or even myself because something isn’t working out at the moment.

I hope this helps someone or encourages someone. It made me feel better already to write it all out and make me realize the good, the bad and the ugly. Like they always say putting words to something or seeing it written out is great therapy!

Here is my happy little family 💕