My boyfriend finally said something

I have not been excited or happy about this pregnancy even though it was planned. I just hit my second trimester and I still don’t feel it. I’ve even felt the baby squirm around and seen him twice in ultrasounds and know the gender and he has a name and I just don’t feel it. I feel guilty for getting pregnant again. I feel like I already don’t do good enough for our son who will be just over two when I’m due. I feel like I’m taking away from him and I feel so guilty about it. I worry that he will be upset and jealous, and feel less important and it makes me so sad. I keep saying it was silly to try for another baby and that we don’t need another baby and I don’t think I could love something even close to as much as I love him.

Last night my boyfriend said I need to stop, he said we wanted another baby and we got one. And he said it’s messed up that I feel this way but I can’t help it. I’m just not excited about being pregnant again.

Has anyone gone through this or have any advice on how to bond with baby #2 while still giving #1 my attention and affection? I’m struggling to find a balance without taking away from #1 :(