Proposal?

Question

How many of you ladies have told your man you wanted to be engaged by a certain time did it work? Pros? Cons? Did you wish you didn't if so why? Also do you think telling them you want to be engaged by a certain time is forcing their hand? If you could have done things differently would you have? Or are you happy you told them your desire of a timeframe you wanted met and wouldn't change anything? If you asked for it to be within a certain timeframe was it still a surprise?

Answer

I told my husband we get married or we break up. This was eight years into our relationship, four years living together. We got married and we've now been married for six years.
I've previously gotten some hate for giving him an ultimatum, but they don't know the dynamics of our relationship nor do they know my husband. He's not one to take that kind of step, and he admitted one night that he was meaning to ask but he didn't know how to and he felt bad he couldn't buy me a ring (like I care).

Answer

My fiancé knew 1 month into our relationship that he wanted to marry me. I told him to be patience because I needed more time. Later when I felt ready to talk about it we went to pre-marriage counseling and started talking about the wedding day as well. The proposal came 3 months later (we ordered custom made rings and that took a while). Now we are getting married this Saturday 🥂🎉

Answer

I just got engaged (last weekend). He asked because he wants me to be his wife. I did set some boundaries regarding things I will and won’t do unless married. I really don’t think that influenced the proposal but it’s always good to have boundaries

Answer

It wasn’t an ultimatum but I told him I’d like to be married by the time I’m 30. This gave him a 5 year window to work with. After dating for 7 years he proposed and a year and a half later we were married. (One month before my 30th birthday😉)

Answer

I did! I gave my husband two years form the day we started dating! He live in Texas I was in Minnesota ! 6 mother later he came to MN to visit he ended up staying .if he didn't know he wanted marry me by the 2 year then we were not met to be! He know by Christmas 2017 he wanted to marry me. We got married last July! 
The reason I had that 2 year was because I was done with playtoy guy that last for a short time  and random guy only wanted to hook up. 
I was also done playing the crazy field. 
My husband was the last guy if he didn't work I was done with men!

Answer

If he’s 100% on the same page then I don’t see why it would be a problem. But if he’s not ready and you’re giving him an ultimatum then it’s not going to work out. Turn the situation around, if he demanded something from you like that would you be happy to oblige or would you feel too much pressure?

Answer

I had age goals. I wanted to be married before having kids and I wanted to be done having kids by 30 and we agreed on at least 2 kids. At 23 we bought a house. No proposal. A year later we had 3 dogs and a cat. No ring. At 27 we agree to move to our forever home. Nothing. We go house hunting in Tennessee and finally he proposed! We got married 3 months later and i was pregnant the next month. I knew no matter what I wanted to be with him. We were committed and had everything together it just wasn't "legal". But I'm glad we waited. We got to enjoy our 20's and looking back I appreciate that time we had! So I'm thankful I did not get hung up on a time line.

Answer

Definitely wouldn't give him an ultimatum just tell him when I would like it to happen he can take it or leave it bc ultimately it's up to him when he does it

Answer

If you're talking about an ideal hypothetical life plan for yourself, I dont see anything wrong with it. However, if its mentioned as an ultimatum or something similar, I would advise against it.

Answer

I never gave my husband a time frame but I did tell him I wasn't going to move in with him until we were engaged. I wasn't intending on rushing him into asking but he was moving to my city and I didn't want him to assume that him moving automatically meant I was going to move too. I'll never know if I accidentally lit a fire under his ass or what but we ended up engaged like a week before he finally picked an apartment and we ended up signing the lease together. I would have been happy waiting longer if it hadn't happened like that but everything worked out great in the end.

Proposal?

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