Hey girls, my man and I have been together for a year. And we have been living together also.

I have competition this weekend and I’m very very nervous because I had my finger broken 2 weeks ago and had stitches taken out but it still hurts sometimes. I’m very worried and I just get stressed and cry alone because I’m just letting those emotions come out (not for attention).

My man on the other hand is a very tough person and he says I’m very childish by crying, or that i let him down as a man by crying and he is ashamed of me when I’m crying which makes it even worse. He tells me he understands why I do so but he NEVER has told me “Hey, it’s going to be ok!” I don’t feel free around him anymore because if I go through something he will ask me “What happened?” And I will tell him he will later turn that whole situation into his side and we will finish arguing by him saying that I drain him and I have to apologize. Which is why I don’t tell him anything of how I’m feeling anymore... because that has happened every time. He gets mad at me for not telling him but I’m just protecting my emotions from getting poured to the maximum because he doesn’t understand. I tried to explain to him calmly, normally and just doesn’t work. Which is why I feel completely alone when something comes my way and my emotions can get out even when I’m in the middle of doing something or training. Because it builds up there and he just comes up to me when he sees that and says “Stop crying. You making me angry. I’m very annoyed. What a shame...” but he doesn’t get it that he makes it worse. I know maybe some of you will be on his side and I get it. Maybe I am too emotional and I just don’t deserve to be understood... and I have to solve it myself but I truly need support from him. I tell him that but he laughs it off and says “Your problems are your problems. You have to solve them on your own only and turn your head on” or “I never need support from anyone”....

Literally when I tell him what happened to me he doesn’t even finish listening and says “Pshhh that’s nothing for me. Stop thinking so much! It’s your problem”

Am I crazy? 😭 I need a hug... being real with him and honest is impossible... he judges a lot and turns the situation towards him... he can’t just listen and warmly say something or view a situation from another perspective.

He will come home and we will have an issue again because I cried... and he will blame me again. I can’t even say a word or my opinion when we talk... idk I just feel that he is suppressing me so much. Being a man is so much better... he manipulates me by saying that because I act this way sometimes he thinks he won’t marry me or be with me if I don’t change.

I feel trapped.