My husband and I have been having trouble for years. We have three kids, two from a different marriage, and one is severely handicapped. I basically have felt detached from him for the past 5 years, as all he does 95 percent of the time he’s home is lay in bed and play a game on his phone. After so many years (we’ve been together for 13) it got to the point that is was depressing and I felt I had to demand he take the kids places or run errands just to feel like he’s involved whatsoever, or act like he’s even alive. He doesn’t try to go out and meet people or do anything and is fulfilled as long as I report to the bedroom to sit next to him bored, watching him on his phone.

Fast forward to a couple years ago, my first love/best friend and I started to become closer talk/hang out more. I have always been deeply in love with him and can’t imagine life without him in it in one way or another. His girlfriend ended up breaking up with him for reasons unrelated to us, and him and I started dating again. My husband knows abput this and we even had some nights all together with the three of us, to put it rated G on here, which was even my husband’s idea. I guess that was his attempt to save our relationship, but I didn’t like it for a number of reasons.

I came to realize that I simply have nothing left for my husband and we haven’t been intimate for almost a year now. He knows that I am intimate with the other guy and have been for a while now, and knows I am pregnant by him, and still refuses to move on, saying he doesn’t want anyone else. He says things like he’s not sure what he’ll do if I leave, indicating that he might do something to himself. I try my best to maintain the peace in our house and not to disrupt the kids’ lives and I simply don’t know what to do anymore. I want to leave.

Despite me asking him not to over a hundred times now, he repeatedly tries to take advantage of me while I’m sleeping and is very pushy and pouty if I don’t respond to his every glance, word, etc. When I sleep in other beds I wake up with him either laying on me, going up my shirt, trying to pull my pants down, etc. A couple of times I discovered him trying to record me by sneaking his phone under the door while I was in the shower. I am at such a level of discomfort and dontknow what to do anymore. After repeatedly over months and months asking him to stop, and even waking up which him helping me after just discussing it the night before several times now, like last night, I basically feel like I have no rights to my body whatsoever anymore. Each time I wake up very startled almost in tears and push him away. It’s gotten so bad. So 1. He insinuates that he will hurt himself if I leave and 2. I don’t know how to separate and have two households and work things out with him for the kids. We can barely afford one household together and are in major debt. I feel helpless anymore. I feel stuck, and like I’m forced to put up with this. I went to counseling to talk about it and he hasn’t . The counselor says he’s very dependent. I have repeatedly asked him for years to meet other people and go out and do things and he never does. Only if I arrange something. I can’t be his everything anymore, his sole motivation and inspiration. He requires more time than the kids. I also can’t deal with this complete disrespect of my feelings and body anymore. I literally haven’t kissed him or shown any interest or reciprocated anything in a year now and he just won’t stop. I don’t think that just because we currently live under the same roof it gives him the right to do what he wants to me. I feel completely violated and repeatedly disrespected. He knows that I do not want an intimate relationship with him and that I am in love with my best friend and he just does not care. He says he loves me too much and doesn’t know how he can live without me, crying etc. but that’s not love when you can see you’re making someone miserable, they love someone else, and don’t care as long as they’re unhappy by you. He refuses to let go and at this point I’m scared what he will do if I do leave.