How to Handle my emotions!!!

So for almost two years my partner and I have been ttc and we have had no luck, we had one miscarriage and I have plenty of cysts, and missed or late periods but nothing but pain confusion and sadness.. I have now been having problems with how to handle my emotions about all of it and I’m just not sure what to do, the feeling is absolutely heart breaking but I want to be happy and I also want to be happy for my co workers and friends who are having babies but I just get so overwhelmed and emotional 😞 any tips or advice on what I can do??