UPDATE: 

After reading everyone’s comments saying how abusive my relationship is with my daughter’s dad, I have decided to leave him for good.   I have known my relationship is bad for a long time now, but I have tried to push it aside and hold onto the good times because I would be lying if I said there weren’t any.

I was just lying in bed last night with my daughter and staring at her and I just started crying.  I feel so guilty that this man is her dad.  I feel like a weak woman who has let a man make her feel this way for so long.  I feel like I am living in a shell of myself and just going through the daily motions which is slowly killing me. 

So after the whole “not staying at my mom’s with the baby during a snow storm” fiasco, I have been very stand offish with him.  That whole night just spoke a lot to me.  Well, this morning we were on the phone talking about a gym membership because he is quitting smoking and does not want to get any more fat, so he wanted to do a family plan.  Well I go “yeah I would love to get in shape again too!”  and he goes “in shape for me right?” and I say “uh sure, but mostly for me”.. and he goes “huh ok.” 

So I ask him what his problem is and if that upsets him.  He said “I guess it just makes me feel weird because you’ve tried to leave me already, so if you get in shape you might have the confidence to do it for real.” And I was like “what, because you think I have to be skinnier to feel better about leaving you?”  and he immediately back tracks and starts saying “well I think you’re beautiful however you look and obviously you got me and I don’t necessarily have low standards.”

BOY BYE! I was disgusted.  So you don’t want me to get healthier and feel better in my skin because you don’t want me to finally realize I deserve better than you?  How about this, how about I leave you AND THEN go get hot AF.  I am not gonna be controlled anymore. I am a boss ass woman, a good ass mom, a freaking catch and I deserve so much more.  (Baby girl and I will be living with my mom)

Thank you everyone for the uplifting messages and kind words.  I can’t believe how kind and thoughtful strangers can be to a person in need, but I am so grateful.