My fiancé pretty much refuses to see my family. When we were dating he’d come occasionally to family dinners and he came for Christmas, but when he couldn’t come he usually had authentic excuses, like having the flu last thanksgiving. The longer we’ve been together the more I see him making excuses not to do family events, which he knows are important to me. He’s not close with his family, so maybe it’s hard for him to understand. He used to say that he liked my family or that they were nice, but now he straight up says they’re weird. Tbh who doesn’t think they’re in laws are weird? I know my family is weird, but it doesn’t change that they’re family or that it’s important.
I’ve talked to him about it and asked if he could even try to come just once in a while, but when he does agree to a family dinner, it never will be a for sure yes, it’s a “if I have time” or “I’ll try”. But we live together, so it’s not like I don’t see him play video games for 3 hours and push all his stuff off so he’s suddenly super busy when it’s time to go and he can’t come anymore.
I sat him down and talked again about it, and asked if we could please go to just one holiday with them. My family constantly asks where he is or if he doesn’t like them or something and I don’t know what to say anymore and I hate going alone. He says that “holidays are for relaxing” but I finally got him to agree to coming to dinner on thanksgiving, but literally he’s only coming to dinner. So I told my mom we’d be there, and my fiancé has some food allergies and she told me the other day she’s making an extra turkey the day before just for him so she knows it will be safe for him to eat. I’m bringing some food too, but then my fiancé tells me yesterday that he thought we were just stopping in to say hi and bye, not staying for dinner, and suddenly started making excuses for why he probably isn’t going to be able to come, everything from “he has too much studying to do” to his leg hurts.
I’m getting so frustrated. We’ve been engaged for almost a year and he’s seen them I think 3 times this year? Also, my family loves 4 miles away from us. It’s not like it’s an inconvenient trip. It gets more and more uncomfortable each time I go without him, and especially now that my mom already got the stuff to cook him and he’s trying to make excuses two days before thanksgiving.
Also, we’re getting married next year, and my family barely even knows him. Idk what more I can do or how to deal with this! I don’t want to start a fight, but we had a deal - thanksgiving with my family, Christmas home just us. And how he’s breaking it and I’m so frustrated.