I messed up

So me and my boyfriend have been struggling for 6 months. We have been together 2 years. My boyfriend started neglecting me and just acting different out the blue... I would let him know when I noticed small changes so that we could tackle them before they got big. It felt like my opinions didn’t matter and he didn’t care. He said he would work in things but nothing changed... he was mean and everything bothered him and everything was always my fault and he owned no responsibility even with me communicating my issues to him. I got depressed (I know it’s not right) but I started texting different friends.. they made me feel better and were giving me the attention I missed.. I know it’s wrong. I never slept with anyone or met up or went out just conversation... anywho my boyfriend went through my watch one day and saw it all. I’ve felt terrible about what has happened and been trying for months to gain his trust back.. he says he wants to be with me and says we are together but acts nothing like that. We no longer live together and I just don’t kno if I’m wasting my time.. he doesn’t call he comes over about three nights a week but it feels totally disconnected