My mom married her husband when all but one of their children were adults. For the most part none of us really get along. We were never a blended family it was my mom's husband and his kids or my mom and us kids.

Holliday's they insist on hosting and will not let others host. They also invite everyone all children, grandchildren, siblings, neices and nephews, cousins on both sides of their family.

This has created absolute chaos and anxiety around Thanksgiving and Christmas. I cannot remember a family holiday when there wasn't a feud going.

This year it started with me asking all of different mom's for their child's Christmas lists.🤦‍♀️ sounds innocent I know but with these people it became a 48 hour fight. That never got resolved.

I have asked my mom if it is possible to split holidays since all of our families are so large now. She feels that it is horrible not what a family does. I have reminded her countless times these are not mine and my siblings family. We have no repport with them. Or only interaction is these chaotic holidays. She was motified I would suggest to rotate the holiday's. I reminded her when she divorced my dad we also have to split holiday's. So really not that different.

I am at a point that I do not care to go any longer. My biological sibling and I can arrange our own holidays and he is all on board. We love our mom but the zoo is toxic and unhealthy.

These people are not step they are grown adults and we had never met them before our parents hastily got married. So I don't consider us a blended family. My mom is an absolute amazing mom and grandma and I hate to make her sad. But her husband and his kids drive everyone insane. They are bonkers.

How would you handle the situation?