My depression is getting uncontrollable


I have been feeling like giving up on life lately. My thoughts can take over so easily, I torture myself for things that happened in the past that were heart breaking, traumatising and just hurtful. Sometimes its so hard to stay on track and I let myself just spiral down till I cant control it and then I get an anxiety attack. I don't feel strong anymore. It hurts. All I can say is this is such a painful pain that just doesn't end. Is there anyone that relates to this?