I don’t know where to start...😞

Laney • TTC for 3 Years💔 PRAYING THAT 2020 WILL FINALLY BE MY YEAR✨ Dog Mom🐾

Things have been really rough lately... I feel like my husband doesn’t care anymore and like he doesn’t want me. Things are really hard for me in my head. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD with Depression. My mother warned me before I married to be sure my soon to be husband would be able to handle me at my best and my worst, and I don’t think he can anymore. He doesn’t understand and he doesn’t seem to want to understand. He doesn’t get the chemical imbalances in my head and when I feel like somethings bad all he seems to do is make things worse and when I try to explain to him what’s going on through my head all he does is yell over me and hurt my feelings and blame it all on me.. I mean god, today he threw one of those “the past 5 years...” words at me and I really cracked in half, we only been together a little over 5 years...

My mother and I don’t talk anymore, ever since I did get married. She didn’t go to my wedding, none of my side of the family is in the picture, so I don’t really have anyone to talk to about my mental state of mind.... I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so alone. I feel so misunderstood. I feel so empty.

I used to be prescribed 50mg Zoloft and would go see a psychiatrist atleast once a month, but it became too much to pay for and the 4ish months I had made progress on myself all went down the drain and it’s back to my husband not understanding me again and not wanting to work with me.

We’ve been TTC for 3 years now, but I don’t think it’ll ever get to happen at this point with the way I feel and the way he treats me.. I’m so lost and hurt and don’t know where to go or who to talk to... someone please talk to me and help me...

BTW; Happy Thanksgiving y’all, hopefully it’s better than mine...

(Picture of mine and my husbands lonely Court House wedding of 2 guests... 7.22.19)