How to stop baby from being held 24/7


I am at my wits end. My 4 month hold has to be held at allllllllll times. Sometimes he even steps it up and we have to be standing while holding him and he’s gotten quite heavy for me. He only sleeps with me holding him as well. He obviously doesn’t do car rides, so we go nowhere. I have let him cry for half hr at a time while I cook myself something to eat, shower, etc. Basic necessities. Never intentionally but it proves to me that the cry it out method would never work even if that’s what I was going for. He will not self soothe but won’t take a pacifier. I had to start putting mittens so he doesn’t scratch himself out of anger when he’s waving his hands. We moved and his doctor is 2 hrs away and we had an apt, he cried the whole way. His voice was hoarse by the time I got home. I’ve tried grocery shopping that was terrible. Yes I’ve tried baby carriers and that’s not enough for him either. I don’t know what else to do. I am tired. I want to sleep in my own bed with my husband. I want to be able to cook proper meals for my husband and I. I thought it’d be a newborn thing but my kid is much smarter for his age now too. Has anyone gone through this. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?