(This story is all over the place try to keep up I’m sorry I suck at story telling) I have known this guy since high school we have had sex 4 times now over the span of taking a break for a year because of me always being sick... well fast forward I’m healthy again and we recently had sex again it was really good I knew something was different because when I first had sex with him in his bed it was so passionate and so much eye contact and communication and just bliss was created ugh it was beautiful, and the way he looks at me and just sees me not just my body oh boy just🥴🙈👀... Okay so we recently had sex in his car shit was hard but we got it done he did some stuff he was really into same with me of course like well for starters eye contact, eating me out, choking me and me holding his hand cause I needed to hold onto something he was that good ugh sheesh he’s just wow I’m into zodiac signs and I’m a female cancer and he is a male cancer so like daddy all the way fuck me up mhmm yes so after he took my virginity (also amazing) I started dreaming about him and I caught feelings and I told him... we were both 16 and super immature so I got scared and ended it well boom fast forward a year later I’m 17 we see each other again also fun time and now I am 18 and I am more mature than him... I know what I want and I think I want him I honestly see a future with him, we are both not seeing anyone or interested in having sex with anyone else so we are both single and available I know a little about his relationship history and he was cheated on in like the 5th grade :(... ANYWAYS I have never been in a relationship or have been in love so idk what I’m feeling but we both know something is there like we talk about shit for a long time together we have strong communication together and we just enjoy eachother a company. We don’t talk sexually barely ever only when I am available, we actually talk like normal close friends would. I told him not too long ago that I didn’t like how he was only hitting me up when he was horny and he apologized... he knows I’m not into being used. I am very shy around him and I struggle talking to him in general because he makes me feel emotions that I’m trying to process. I am not sure if it’s just the sex I really don’t think it is to me, it’s just a bonus he is a really good guy and I still can’t believe he’s been single and only has been involved with me LIKE WOW he is so amazing and I would love to make him mine but idk how to, I don’t want to ruin what we have maybe I should wait it out? then again it’s going on

almost a year when it turns December 👀👀

I wanted to mention that we use protection all the time because duh lol and ever since the one time we didn’t use protection and he cane inside we have bonded in a way where we just feel like we trust each other way more and it’s just special idk... I’ve hooked up with other guys in the past and it was just sex to me no emotions no passion just quick sex but no me and him we just are something else when we’re together

I don’t think I have feelings for him to tell him about just yet I can just see it leading somewhere I just don’t know how to approach the convo and talk about it like mature adults we are any advice?? I’m terrified of being rejected I’m just so nervous if I mess it up :(

He is mature I mean he’s a man he is just 😩 we both click so well together it’s crazy ahhhh and the way this man looks at me makes me develop butterflies and idk how to control myself