He told me he loves his ex he doesn’t love me anymore left me now 1 baby boy 2 otw

My baby dad has been sneaking on the low with his ex of 3 years she told me everything they been having sex & drinking yesterday all hell broke lose I don’t wanna get into but he has been living with me basically sleeping in my bed telling me he loves me this & that I just would feel like he’s lying everytime he tells me I’m beautiful . I could tell the vibe was off he wanted to stay out with his friends all night he would only come spend about 2 hours w me & then boom he has to go to his friends. My intuition was screaming at me that he was messing with her I was ignoring it I feel like an idiot I’m hurt she told me he said that I’m to big to fuck but guys I’m 5’2 and pregnant with his twins! he also told me he wasn’t fucking w her because shes ugly & he can’t get hard for her he told me that awhile ago when I accused him I just had a feeling so me & him got into it lastnight it really wasn’t my fault he got in a fight with my family members my cousins they don’t like him because he’s abusive mentally and physically yes I know please don’t get on me guys. He wasn’t suppose to come back over till my cousins leave at 7 am he told me that because he felt bad vibes when he walked in to bring my son in from thanksgiving dinner. I wake up to banging on my room door I’m like what is going on & it’s him at 4 am drunk as hell I was wondering how he got in his breath smelt strong like alcohol he stunk up my room. He’s wanting to fight my 2 older cousins he thinks they’re trying to jump him he bust a hole in my wall Im crying freaking out telling him to chill out . After all that chaos he jumps out my window and leaves comes back tells me he doesn’t want to fuck with me anymore he doesn’t care about the twins he only loves our son we just had in may that he doesn’t love me anymore . That hurt he later gets back home & calls me tells me he just called his ex girlfriend & told her he wants to get back together with her that he loves her he wants her & while he’s telling me this I’m crying and screaming on the phone having a panic attack my cousins try to calm me down . It just hurt I feel so hurt I was so happy yesterday I was missing him so much cause I didn’t see him in days he also told me she has more money than me all this I can’t stop crying I should be happy because I’m finally out of the toxic relationship I blocked him on everything snap, Instagram, his icloud everything deleted pics of him . I’m trying my best but these hormones are driving me crazy I keep thinking about him with her .

She once sent him to jail for beating her up he stayed about 45 days that’s when I met him during that time he must’ve never lost feelings for her. I don’t know what to do to distract myself I just sit in the house & think about it more. I just can’t believe he lied to my face I wish he didn’t tell me he had the nerve to call me to make me so upset & tell me that then I contact her she tells me everything. My heart is shattered I don’t think I will ever fall for anybody again I’m not gonna be alone with 3 baby boys all by myself .

Someone help me out tell me how I can feel better i just feel like crying I don’t really feel like eating but i have too because of the babies this is just so hard.

I’m sorry it’s all over the place I’m emotional right now there’s so much more we have broken up like this many times but this time is different because he told me he loves her he never said that to me before.