Doctor appointment today

I'm not doing well. My anxiety is out of control, I've called out from work at least once a week for the last month because of it. I'm almost 18w and I can't feel my baby move and I'm fat so I have no idea if I'm feeling a bump or if it's just the three grilled cheese I ate last night. My husband has no idea how bad things have gotten and I'm scared to tell him. I tried calling my therapist's office but they haven't called me back. I'm scared to tell anyone how bad things have been because I don't want anyone to think I can't handle being a mom. I could really use some love and support right now.