I don't need or want advice. I just need to complain.

I got married four months ago. I was elated. I had never been so sure about someone in my life. I've always been the kind of a flighty person, but every day closer to the wedding I became even more positive that I had found my true match. But now...I'm unsure. I don't feel anything from him anymore. I can't tell if he's just gotten comfortable and doesn't feel the need to try anymore or what. Our whole honeymoon I was constantly having to ask if he was having fun. I would try and pull him close to me but he didn't seem interested. We didn't have sex. He worked everyday we were there. When we got home there was no "post wedding bliss". It was just back to the same old routine. It's like he wasn't even excited we just got married. He made a comment to someone saying how getting married felt like an accomplishment because finally someone "loved him enough to stay". It felt like a slap in the face. I don't want to be an accomplishment, I want to be his partner. I was excited to marry him because I loved him! Not just because he's the one that decided to stick around. Within a week of being home I expressed how I felt and told him I needed some more passion from him and he turned it around on me.

We don't have sex. We don't cuddle. I made a feast for thanksgiving dinner and I didn't feel appreciated at all. I had done all the cleaning, shopping and cooking and I was coming down with a cold. I asked if he wouldn't mind just making the pie for me so I could lay down. And all I got was attitude. So I asked if he could at least wash the mixing bowl for me. Again, attitude.

I send cute texts, I tell him how much I love him, how much I want to start a family with him, how I'm so happy to be his wife. I leave him sweet notes. I clean the house so he doesn't have to. I open up about my feelings just to be shut down. I'm so...BLAH. I met a man, who made me feel beautiful. Who talks to me and shows interest. Who makes me laugh. Nothing happend. I don't cheat. But it felt so nice to feel desirable. He lives states away, so obviously nothing will happen (he could live next door and still nothing would happen). He wanted to fly me out to see him, or fly out here just to see me again.

This man is willing to spend the money to fly out here just to visit me, but when I ask my husband to help out and clean the living room, i come home and he's getting high in bed.

What if i made a mistake. I've given up a lot for this relationship, by choice of course. And I'm wondering...did I really give all those things up just to get married and feel completely unimportant? So much for the honeymoon phase..And no. I didn't come home expecting to be with some new romantic man. Our relationship was filled with romance and passion about 6 months ago. I'm saying this all changed AFTER the wedding. Like the second we said our vows, it all went away. This is a NEW man. NOT the man I fell in love with. I don't even recognize this man sometimes.

When he comes home tonight I'm going to put my foot down and tell him we are going to counseling. I deserve to feel loved.

--I had a conversation with someone I didn't even exchange numbers with at a work event. Sue me. That isn't cheating. I have no interest in seeing this man again. I want my husband and ONLY my husband.

We have been together for over 4 years and have lived together for 3. We were engaged for 2 years