So first I wanna start off by saying i was raped repeated from the age of 10 all the way up until I was 17 by 4 of my family members. It took awhile but i did finally forgive them and i can be around them during family functions but will not stay in a room if its just them. Anyways..i was wondering if something is wrong with me because now reading rape situations and rape fantasies actually turn me on....does that make me disgusting or creepy? Or is it from being caused so much pain...i sometimes even have dreams about children being held against their will and raped and will wake up shaking and crying...i just feel weirded out and afraid people will think I'm disgusting...thank you ladies.