Trying to find advice about anal

My first experience with anal when I was 17 was really bad. It’s three years later now and I’m married (to a different guy) and my husband and I want to do anal but I always have flashbacks to the first time and get tense and panicky... any advice?

Edit: my problem wasn’t that it hurt (even though it did) it was more that it was forced on me, not consensual...

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