It’s different

Something is different in my marriage. My husband seems so distant. We never talk anymore. He has started to immediately go into the bathroom when he wakes up in the morning then immediately again when he gets home from work. For the past couple months he’ll get home from work and spend an hour + in the bathroom. Tonight I noticed he has started to lock the bathroom door, we only have one bathroom and we have two kids one of which is a toddler so sometimes I need to get in there to get wipes, a wash cloth to wipe hands with, etc. I’ve looked at his phone and can never find anything but I’m starting to get pissed. I just had a baby 8 days ago and I’m tired of feeling so alone. My husband has not kissed me since before I went back for my c-section EIGHT DAYS AGO. He also admitted that he kissed me then “just incase I died.” Like WTF... He doesn’t text on his lunch break just to check in anymore. He blames a lot and puts a lot on me. The charging port to his laptop started to mess up. Some how my fault from the two times I’ve used it. I placed a grocery order for pick up and forgot distilled water for the bottle warmer not WE as he was telling me stuff he remembered we needed but ME, I forgot it. I get ZERO help. He has zero interest in holding our newborn. She’s colicky and doesn’t sleep much but I’m the one who stays up literally ALL NIGHT with her. Then I pack his lunch and get him off to work.

I’ve had such a fear of postpartum depression and I think I might have it. I’m fine all day until he gets home then i immediately feel alone again. I just feel, at this point, I’d be better off being a single mom.

I understand that he might be adjusting but it’s been goi on since before our daughter was born and I mean I’m the one who had a major surgery. I’m the one who had the baby I get he needs to adjust but I need help too. I’m alone.