Feeling emotional

I started bleeding the other day. Not a lot but bright red blood. I have a subchorionic hematoma (so pool of blood between my uterus and the placenta) so was told that ANY bleeding I need to call and most likely go in to be sure the baby’s heartbeat is still there. I did call and went it to hear a strong 156 heartbeat and needed a Rhogam shot because I am RH- blood type and my body tries to kill pregnancies.

I’m struggling with even letting myself feel or enjoy being pregnant until the next few weeks are over and we pass the first trimester.

Does anyone else struggle being excited the first trimester? It’s so darn scary I’ve having two miscarriages in the past has really rocked my world.