Long story short my kids dad has been addicted to drugs most our relationship. I never did them for the longest time then this past august I tried it with him and I haven’t been able to stop I drink and use every other day. I want to leave him but I feel I’m so lost and addicted to the drug and he provides it so that’s why I keep him around . I want to be sober but it is so hard and I am so ashamed I can’t tell my family and I don’t have any friends I just feel lost and depressed and my children don’t deserve any of it I want help but I don’t know where to start and how to stay strong I’ve never been addicted to anything I don’t want this to be my life 😭

I would just like advice I don’t really want judgement because I know that I’m fucking up and being selfish.